Do you ever wonder why the very feelings you try to void actually multiply and fill your system so full to the brim? You are the creator of your own experience and paying attention to your feelings is the first step. Perhaps a recap of a few lessons on the mind will help to explain a lot of the Science out there which is trying to give us some very simple advice.
Negative Thoughts Turn Into Negative Feelings
If you dislike someone so much but for some reason you are trying to stop such thoughts from taking over you, for e.g. if it’s your boss and you choose to keep working in the same office as him/her. You can’t help but dislike his/her behavior because of those toxic comments, offensive language, foul mood and selfish ways. So, you keep telling yourself, “How I wish s/he would stop “USING THAT LANGUAGE”, that s/he would “CEASE BEING SUCH A SELFISH BULLY”, and the “STRESS AND TENSION WOULD NOT CONTINUE” etc. Even though you tell yourself what you don’t want, your mind is still focused on the thoughts and feelings that are present. And each time you introduce a thought, you are already sending electric signals that trigger reactions in the mind and body. Every thought sends a signal. And every thought ‘meets’ up with others which are common and when your neurons start to fire, more ideas and common one’s are finding their friends hence producing “excitement”.
Even though this has been drummed into us, i.e. The Unconscious Mind does not register the difference between Good or Bad, Right OR Wrong. It’s admittedly difficult to just change your way of thinking to what you were never used to before. The Unconscious Mind just goes about it’s work collecting whatever you feed it. And that massive collection over time is your database which produces your mindset- the collection of data you have fed it based on what you have experienced and reinforced through your own self talk and thought patterns. Of course, it knows how to suppress challenging experiences to help you move on but its still there, brewing like a boiling kettle over time.
Turn Negative Thoughts Into Constructive Thoughts To Generate Positive Feelings
Please remember that you are in FULL CONTROL of the throttle if you first choose to believe it. A renowned cellular biologist, Bruce Lipton, Phd, has finally discovered that genes and DNA do not control our biology. Instead DNA is controlled by signals from outside the cell, including the energetic messages emanating from our thoughts.
So, in the above example, how do you focus and what do you say to yourself instead? Even if your boss is a bloody &^%$@*&!!, here are 3 tips.
a) Reframing Becomes Tour Ultimate Resource
Every negative description has a positive twist.
- Slave Driver = Driven
- Selfish = Focused
- Inflexible = Decisive
- Cannot Decide = Objective & Open
- Direct (Does not mince his/her words)
b) Focus On What Works (Being Grateful)
- I am happy and grateful that this boss is strengthening my endurance and teaching me about emotions.
- I feel grateful that this opportunity gives me the resource to practice what I might not get to do in future.
- I am grateful for this learning ground.
c) Focus On What You Want (Affirmations)
- I am in the process of experiencing a great a mount of learning in this place.
- This work inspires me and I am in the process of finding ultimate fulfillment.
- This boss is in the process of finding himself.
- This department is becoming stronger and committed through the daily experiences.
I understand it’s easy for me to just pen down what you could do but it’s another thing to follow an instruction manual to re-configure the software that has been running your brain since the time it started functioning. But you can certainly help it by doing a mental clean-up.
Don’t use “No”, “Don’t” and “Cannot” because it creates a negative vibration. Vibrations in the body are created by your thoughts, which then create feelings and hence the results you get. The quality of your thoughts equates to the quality of results you get in life so be careful what you think about. Keep them in check and have the realization that you do not have to believe and follow everything that comes to your mind. Fear is there for a reason and it was meant to protect you in the past. You don’t have to use it all the time just like anger and frustration. They are there to serve it’s purpose for the appropriate occasion. So, do use it when it’s intended. That’s what we call emotional intelligence and it can be used wisely, i.e. using the appropriate emotions at the right time to achieve the intended outcomes. For e.g. being angry with yourself for failing to follow and exercise regime. That’s useful but don’t hold on to it. Check and see that you are moving on. When we don’t check it, we start to resent ourselves and that’s when it gets unhealthy.
Move “Toward” rather than “Away From”. For example, say “I really want you to do well in your exams and enjoy the process” rather than ” I don’t want you to fail and feel like a loser”. How many times have we created negative vibrations in others just by how we spoke? It left a bitter taste in our tongue as well. When you focus on possibilities, circumstances start to arrange itself to feel positive and it generates happy and productive thoughts.
Please remember this: “It is not possible for you to constantly feel positive emotions about something and have it turn out badly and similarly, feel constantly horrible about something and have it turn out well because the way you feel creates your well-being.”
~ Esther & Jerry Hicks in “Ask And It Is Given”.